WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NANNY AND A BABYSITTER?

   The easiest way to tell the difference between a nanny and a babysitter is to give some examples. If two children are fighting over a riding toy, a babysitter will simply swoop it up and distract the children with another activity. 

     But a Nanny will see this as a learning opportunity and will as questions, like: “What did you do?” or “What was wrong with that?” or “What would have been a better way to handle that situation?” or “Can you tell your brother you’re sorry and ask him to forgive you?” to get the children thinking about their behavior and how they could have done things differently. She is thinking about the whole child, their character, manners, and values. 

     A Nanny comes in with a plan. She’s thinking about small muscle, large muscle development, social, emotional, cognitive, and language development. She’s thinking about the age the child is now and what to expect three months out, and how to accelerate development through art and crafts, books, asking questions, outdoor activities, finger plays, music, books and field trips. Her main priority is the child’s character, especially to develop qualities like creativity, attentiveness, kindness, honesty, courage, self-discipline resilience and a joy in living, all foundational to success.

     If a two year old discovers an earthworm under some new sod, the Nanny may start a worm farm in a quart jar, get a library book about worms, do art projects about worms and do music and movement and talk about how important worms are to us. (There would be no food on the earth without the hard work worms do for us!)

     If a toddler is eating blueberries, she may ask him to count them, and count agin when one is eaten. If he can cut a banana slice in half, she’ll be talking about halves and quarters.

     A Nanny has years of professional experience and possibly an educational background and sees herself as a teacher. She usually becomes a part of the family and is considered almost a third parent. She may have more experience than the parents and can give parents insights about ages and stages. She may spend more time with the child than the parents and keeps a log or reports about the child’s day. She works full or part time, but has a regular salary or hourly pay, and gets paid 52 weeks per year. She usually gets paid holidays and vacations and has a written working agreement with her family. This is a career for her. 

     A babysitter usually comes when needed, is on call, and keeps the child safe, fed and puts them to bed. She is paid hourly. 

     If you are mostly an at-home parent and only work 10-15 hour per week, a babysitter may be a good option for your household. But if parents are both in demanding full-time positions, a nanny can be an essential element of your child-rearing strategy.

     One more difference. A Nanny oftentimes has down time during naps or when a child is in preschool. She may throw in a load of laundry or get dinner started. She will often grocery shop or pick up a gift for the weekend birthday party. This way, the family has more quality time to capture those fleeting cherished relationships. 

Beth Weise

MOTHER NEEDED! JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed, for challenging permanent work……..

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often-chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls,  maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and this wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM! Thanks for responding to the "AD!"
Thanks to my little brother James who wrote this blog and is the one on Daddy's lap in the photo.

  James

LEAVING YOUR CHILD A LEGACY OF LETTERS

When you have a child, you start thinking about what you want to leave them. Naturally, we think of a college education, money or a home. But far more important, is the legacy of values you give them. My friend Marjorie Desmond, a Phoenix estate planning attorney, suggests writing a legacy letter for your children. Since we don’t know what will happen tomorrow, she recommends parents write a letter for a child or grandchild’s home-leaving, graduation, a special birthday, wedding, birth of their first child or your own funeral. Marjorie’s mom, now deceased, wrote her a poem when she left home, and now with her daughter getting ready to leave for college, she was able to share this poem with her. Write a legacy letter. Think of everything you’d want to tell your spouse and children if you knew you had two weeks to live, and put it all in a letter to them. Tell your daughter, or granddaughter what you felt when she was born. The kind of man you want her to marry and why. You express to your spouse how happy they've made you and your desire for them to be free to be happy when you’re gone. Share the meaning of your life, beliefs and the lessons life has taught you. This can be done in a letter, an audio recording, or a video. You can make a scrapbook with photos and written stories. You can say at your son’s graduation, “Scott, my heart overflowed with joy at the realization of how all your hard work is now paying off. I am so proud of you!” This part of the letter is a way of telling your unique story, including your accomplishments, how you’ve tried to live your life and what your family will take from you. You can encourage your children to make wise choices. Include your family history. “My Grandpa was born in Oklahoma territory and we know very little about his family history,” lamented Marjorie. “We see 69% of people die without any estate planning at all. The most important part of a legacy is the values, words of wisdom and life lessons you carry with you. You don’t want your family to learn the hard way.” Marjorie has a passion to help other families because of her own legacy. Her Grandpa, a Slovenian immigrant, served in the Army Air Corps during WWII as a medical doctor. In early 1945, his plane crashed and he died. At the age of seven, Marjorie’s Dad was told, “You’re the man of the house now,”and he helped raise his younger brother. Because an uncle received the death benefits, Marjorie’s grandmother had to live frugally. She went back to school and become a teacher.  Marjorie’s dad was also a medical doctor who was drafted to serve in Vietnam.  Thankfully, he returned safely, but life is often uncertain.  Don't miss an opportunity to share your values with your family. This is why Marjorie is passionate about helping other families plan their legacy. From the age of eight, she knew she wanted to be a lawyer.  She has a passion for making sure we pass on what we want to, to whom we want, when we want, and these things we pass on start with our values.  “No one is getting out alive,” Marjorie reminded me. “Don’t you want to leave your child a love letter?”  If parents take the time to write these legacy letters, they’ll be much more likely to express gratitude and joy on a daily basis to their loved ones. Beth

GIVING YOURSELF TO YOUR CHILDREN

How can parents guarantee that the values they are diligently pouring into their children will stick? How can you ensure that your children won't be inclined to exchange the blessings of your home life for the cheap thrills they will surely be offered, that will take them decades to recover from? Talk to your children. This may seem obvious, but it’s surprising how many parents don’t do this. While we need to be careful not to speak with them like they’re our buddy so they don’t respect us, and we need to speak to them on their level, yet we need to be friends with our children so that they feel free to come and talk to us about anything. If they’re having a problem understanding why your family does things in a certain way, talk to them about it. If they’re acting oddly, talk to them. Talk to them and listen to what they’re telling you. Give them undivided attention. We want our children to share their hearts without feeling that we’ll condemn them. If they can’t talk to you, you can be sure they’ll find someone else to talk to. Give your children a sense of purpose for their natural talents. Sometimes, children have an aptitude for a calling that is not deemed acceptable by the parents. It’s our job as parents to spot the gifts and talents that our children have and nurture them and channel them in the right direction. Failure to do this can leave children bitter. Guard against having unrealistic expectations for your children. Encourage your children. Encourage means to give courage. Do this by loving them exactly the way they are. Praise them, not for the things they accomplish, but for the character qualities displayed while they achieved something. “You worked really hard on your room today!” or “your diligent practice paid off  when you scored today.” Give yourself to your children. It is possible to go days and even weeks without realizing you’ve been so wrapped up in your “adult stuff” that you’ve hardly even noticed these little ones around you. You suddenly notice that they’re longing for your attention but you’ve been too busy or selfish to give them what they want most. Ask them to forgive you and resolve to give yourself to your children. Go play with them. Get down on their level. Cuddle with them. Tell them how much you love them. Treat them as real people with thoughts, feelings and hopes. Be interested in them. If you lose your temper, ask them to forgive you. Play together as a family. Wrap them in a blanket and tell them they are your little burrito and that you’re going to eat them! Roughhouse with your kids. Here's a great article for you to check out if your parents didn't roughhouse with you. It gives them resilience, makes them smarter, builds social intelligence, teaches them morality, gets them physically active, and builds the father-child bond. Our children should so come to love the atmosphere and fragrance of joy and hope that resonates through our homes and their lives, that the thought of exchanging those blessings for cheap thrills leaves them frigid. Beth

TEACH YOUR CHILD TO YELL AND TELL: PREVENTING CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. It can happen to anyone - even a child you know and love. Even your own child. Abuse creates shame, confusion, fear, and embarrassment These factors enable a culture that perpetuates continued abuse. The average serial pedophile will molest 400 children during his lifetime. Molesters are regular people with average looking faces. 90% of all molestations are committed by a family member or friend. It’s important to teach your child to be distrustful of strangers but we also need to teach them to be on guard with friends, brothers or even Granddad. Child molestation is on the rise due to online pornography, especially child pornography. It’s understandably uncomfortable for parents to talk to their children about this unthinkable situation. We want to protect their innocence, so we don’t warn our children, leaving them defenseless against a cunning, familiar person. Debbie rl author of Samuel Learns to Yell and Tell and Sara Sue Learns to Yell and Tell: A Warning For Children Against Sexual Predators says, “In every area of life, it is usually understood that those prepared are usually spared”. We highly recommend that every family purchase one of these books and read them and talk to your children about them regularly. By teaching children about their bodies and talking openly about sexuality and boundaries, a child will be more equipped to tell you if something is making them uncomfortable. A child predator loses his power when he loses his cover. So “if all children know that they would be heard and protected when they yelled and told, then many predators would never go child hunting.” Debbie Pearl. In Darkness to Light, a website dedicated to protecting children from sexual abuse, 5 steps to protecting children are outlined. Research and learn all you can, or take their online course. Learn the facts-Read Yell and Tell to your children every few weeks to keep the ideas fresh in their minds. Minimize the opportunity-Our children are given to us to protect and nurture. They need us. Predators look for the most vulnerable. Ask questions before and after leaving your child with someone. Talk about it-Tell your children every day, “I love you and want to keep you safe, so always tell me anything that needs to be told.” Recognize the signs-Ask questions. Watch for signs of fear and anxiety in your child concerning  friends or family React responsibly-If you react with anger or disbelief, the child will shut down and think it is their fault and internalize damaging guilt and shame. Caring Nannies is starting a pilot program to to come alongside families and provide the Darkness to Light program to nannies for another layer of protection. “Your children need to know that they can come to you at any time and any place and that you are ready to listen and take action to protect them. They will not understand this naturally; it is your responsibility as a parent to effectively communicate this message.” Debbie Pearl. Beth

TECHNOLOGY AND CHILDREN'S BRAINS

I interviewed my daughter Erika Frazer,  a new RN and the mother of a four year old and a 2 month old, after they made a seismic change in their household. I was surprised when she told me that her husband Steve was behind it all.

What made you suddenly decide to turn off all technology? Not just the TV, but the iPad and the cell phone?
“I’d been hearing about the negative effects of technology, and kept it all off during the day, but we were used to the TV being on a lot and Dad had his iPhone and iPad in hand. 

He watched a Ted Talk about the effects of TV on children ‘s brains.”http://www.wimp.com/mediachildren/ See more below.

“Since seeing the report, we only turn on the TV after kid’s bedtimes."

What about youtube videos about nature and science?

After being off technology for two weeks, Steve let her watch  some educational youtube videos about insects for about 10 minutes one Saturday and her attitude and demeanor changed noticeably. She became demanding and whiny.

Steve and Mia

So what are the results with your four year old? Amazing.! She's more subdued. Naps had been a problem for the past year or longer. She wouldn’t nap, even though she was tired. She was hyperactive, demanding and whiny. Now, she’s able to shut down enough to take naps every day, and she sleeps all night in her own bed. Before, she was constantly coming into our bed at some point in the night. 

Did you make any other changes during this time? No, we’ve always had a fairly good schedule for eating, bedtime and naps, and we’ve always had a  healthy diet with limited sugar. Most recently, we’ve also eliminated all sugar for her.

Is there any place for TV in your family now? Yes, recently we all sat down to watch Frozen, and had popcorn, and laughed and talked about it together. So we may do something special like that once or twice a month. After two weeks, I watched for a program that is slower paced, like Sheriff Callie, with no flashing, fast-paced backgrounds, up to 30” minutes a day. She's still very active, that's normal for her, but before, she was feisty and overactive. 

What does she do instead? Now she’ll sit down and look at books all on her own for a half hour and she’s just generally more focused. During the baby’s nap we'll do one creative project and then one dot to dot or work on numbers. She seems to be more absorbed in what she’s doing, and morerelaxed. She’s able to sit and play with clay for an hour. The big thing is that Dad's on board, which makes all the difference. The change is phenomenal. We’ve been taking a family walk every night. Every day Steve comes home and he wants to take a walk because he’s wearing a fitness band on his wrist and he wants to log in miles for his team. It makes all the difference!

More about Dimitri Christakis’ TED Talk:  

 Prolonged exposure to rapid change during the critical period of brain development, preconditions the mind to expect high levels of stimulation, creating  inattention in later life. Children are now expecting a reality that doesn’t actually exist. Baby Einstein is a good example of this.

The more children watch TV before the age of three, the more likely they are to have attentional problems. Specifically, for each hour they watch TV, the chances of them having attentional problems increases by 10%. The more cognitive stimulation parents or nannies do, such as reading, singing, going to a museum or zoo, reduces the chances of attentional problems by about 30%.


Beth                                            Erika

We are very excited, as it's almost time for National Nanny Training Day (NNTD) again! 
Caring Nannies has put together an incredible line-up of speakers! Last year, our nannies were asking for more help with the Toddler stage, so we have a great speaker back to address that specifically. Last year, we had 42 attendees in Paradise Valley and enjoyed learning together, networking and sharing!

NNTD Registration is now open!

When: Saturday April 12 from 8:30 AM to 2:20 PM

Where: Abiding Savior Community Church

515 E Continental Drive

Tempe, AZ 85281

Cost: $25 per person (includes continental breakfast and lunch!!)

Have you considered having your employer ell you pay for NNTD? Here is a flyer from Nanny Biz Reviews that can help start the conversation.

**Stay tuned, as we will be raffling off a free ticket on ur Facebook Page**

Details: This training is designed to help nannies address the unique challenges of working in a private home, to improve and expand their childcare skills, to stay current on new trends and resources within the field, and to connect and share with colleagues. Our National Nanny Training Event offers a unique mix of education, resources and networking in an informal, welcoming atmosphere. Registration includes 5 "learn today, use tomorrow" workshops, continental breakfast, lunch, networking and of course, FUN. You will receive a certificate of participation.

Topics: Brain-based Strategies for Better Thinking, Mood Management and Better Behavior, Using Music to Accelerate Learning, Toddler Naps and Behavior, Cooking a Mediterranean Meal and Making Organic Baby Food, and How to Look and Feel Your Best.

REGISTER HERE! 

NNTD 2013